How to get Divorced in Oklahoma and Maintain a Relationship with your Children

A divorce can change the direction of a person’s life. Fathers, in particular, are at the receiving end of life changes after divorce. In many cases, fathers can lose custody of their children or end up with an unfavorable visitation schedule. Divorce, however, does not have to be the end of your relationship with your children. You should follow the tips below and hire an experienced father’s rights law firm to successfully get through divorce and maintain a strong and healthy relationship with your children.

Avoid Discussing Adult Issues with Children

It is important to realize your children were not the cause of the issues between you and your spouse. They are also young and may be unable to understand why dad is moving away from home. Moving out may be stressful; however, it is important to insulate your children from adult conversations about how hard this transition is on you. Whining or complaining to your kids can affect them in many ways and may negatively impact the outcome of your case, if the family law judge finds out you are speaking to your children about your divorce.

Avoid Speaking Badly About Your Ex

Getting your kids for a few days a week may not be enough for you. Naturally, you may want to turn your children against your ex so that they can spend more time with you. This isn’t right and should not be done. You should avoid making negative comments about your ex-wife. If you need to have an argument or a sensitive discussion with your ex-wife or soon to be ex-wife, you must do so outside the presence of your children. Fighting in front of the kids inspires unhealthy reactions and sets a bad example for them. Additionally, witnesses fights between divorcing parents can negatively impact your children for years and years to come.

Avoid Using your Children to Get Information about your Ex’s Life

Divorced parents often use their children as private investigators. Using your children to get updates on their custodial or non-custodial parent is a bad idea. Asking them to give an update about who your ex is with or what they noticed while there is bad parenting. You could ask about your ex’s personal welfare to show them that you care, but you should never use your children as investigative tools to get personal information about your ex-wife. This is because kids are more likely to misread and misinterpret situations that appear glaring to adults. Also, smart kids may use this as leverage to get their way by playing both parties.

Remain in your Kids’ Lives

Showing your kids that a divorce isn’t enough to wipe your love for them will go a long way. Make sure to maintain a close and healthy relationship with the kids by showing up when and where they need you. Study each child, identify their interests and build a connection around those interests. Doing this will help you to connect with them for years to come. Tell your kids far in advance, if you will be unable to exercise regular visitation with them. Life happens and it can be beneficial to work with your ex to trade off visitation, if you are unavailable for a regularly scheduled visit. 

Children hate disappointments, so be sure to keep to your word. Show up to their extracurricular activities as promised and make time for them when they are in your custody. Kids love spending time with loving parents, no matter how much or how little the amount of time. You can build a relationship with your children during and after divorce that will follow you both into their adulthood. Take the opportunity and never quit working on your relationship with your children. It will serve you the rest of your life. 

Spend Time with your Kids 

Kids love attention and care. They want to feel safe enough to share certain parts of their day and life with you. Offering open hands and listening ears can help you to connect better. Plan out fun events for when they are around. Invite their friends to events when necessary, and spend time with them. Devoting energy and most importantly time to your relationship with your children will benefit you and your kids for the rest of both your lives. Additionally, if your children are young and you want to modify your visitation schedule, devoting time to build your relationship may be the start of your claim to change your visitation schedule. 

Contact – Cannon & Associates: Your Oklahoma Family Law and Divorce Attorneys

Your divorce doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship with your children. Cannon & Associates has the legal experience and Fierce Advocacy to help you achieve the best possible outcome in your custody battle or divorce. Contact Cannon & Associates by completing the CONTACT FORM ON THIS PAGE NOW or CALL at 405-657-2323 for a free confidential case evaluation.